Drumroll goes to a road race this past weekend (and not the big crit in Bingo btw). After the race, the "spread" includes some fruit, water, & cookies (likely home-made according to his well trained eye). As Drumroill is deciding which cookie should be his second victim, some roadie dude walks up, looks over the spread and says, "ooooh, cookies". The lady standing there, who very possibly made them, nicely responds, "aren't you gonna have one?", Roadie quips in a somewhat condescending tone, "ohhhh no, I can't have a cookie, nope, no cookie for me", and he walks off. WTF was that? Drumroll was about to jump on this SOB and force a damn cookie down his throat. In fact, how about a freakin dozen donuts slathered in embrocation shoved up your pretentious skinny arse with a quart of egg nog just to add a little flavor.
With this in mind, Drumroll hereby decided he is NOT a roadie. Yes, he may still participate in road races but only as a "UN-roadie". In fact, he's considering letting his legs get all hairy and wearing loose fitting, all wool apparel and putting duct tape on his cycling shoes ... not because they need it but because it would be "UN-roadie". Right now he's probably in his garage, peeling off a little handlebar tape so it flaps in the wind and wetting down his chain so it gets rusty and makes noise just to piss off the roadies. Roadies beware ... if Drumroll catches you at a CX race this fall putting down cookies, ice cream, donuts, pizza, or heavens forbid .. beer, he may not be restrainable .. you've been warned.
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