Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Commander-in-Chief 'Cross?


So there was some recent Ommegangster banter about President Obama getting a few stitches in his yapper as well as a suggestion that maybe he should consider something "safer" like CX.   After discussing the merits of a "Commander-in Chief" CX event, we decided we might have better luck trying to convince GW Bush to hold a CX event rather than Pres. Obama...... afterall, 'W' did ride MTB on occasion.  We also figured 'W' would like the PR with his new book as well as trying to raise funds and awareness for his memorial library.  This event would be like no other with a list of well known guest appearances by some well known politicos.-- just don't expect Laura to let W have a post race Omme.
Here's the first draft for planning:
-- USA Cycling license or NRA membership card required to race
-- Justice Roberts as the Head Referee/Official
-- A true "open" category following "don't ask/don't tell" criteria
-- Wealthy campaign donors get special access to the course
-- Red course tape would be on your right; blue course tape on your left

-- Dick Cheney would do the start gun
-- Howard Dean as the man in the donkey suit heckling people (yelling "woooyahhh" in a high pitch)
-- John Kerry & Al Gore as the barriers (Gore obviously the much stiffer/wooden-like barrier)
-- Course layout includes a run-up feature where you choose to go right or left -- right carries their own bike, left has another cyclist carry it for you
-- Mission Accomplished banner at the finish

------------------------------------------------

And a little end-of-season limerick from our friend AJ M's wife ....

All you Sunday 'cross widows give a cheer.

The end of cyclocross season is here.
There are no more races.
So husbands trade places,
And toast your race wench with a beer!

Do some laundry, cook a meal, clean the house.
Remember you do have a spouse
Who supports your endeavors
And gets to ride, never
But complains no louder than a mouse.

No comments: