Monday, July 13, 2009

Humper Dog says so

Yeah it's me -- control yourself. Drumroll is still downstairs scrubbing the stains out of his chamois after riding thru the lightning fest on Saturday. The dumbass was on Lakeport Road in the nice open, flat area just north of Chittenango with lighning snapping all arond in the pouring rain in black shorts, a black jersey while riding on a road with a 6" shoulder where they drive about 75 mph.

Anyway I'm here to rant brfore I get knee deep in a 750 of Rare Vos. Topic de Rant -- The Old Erie Canal path. Let's get it straight people (& dogs), common sense and courtesy will really go along way in making the canal path more enjoyable for all.
(1) If I get a hold of you and your freakin 20 ft dog leash, I'm gonna cram it down your throat with fido attached and pull it out the other end. Pay attention, yes, the dog leash all the way across the path IS in the way.
(2) Let's think of moving along like road traffic -- stay to the right, not half way, not the right of the guy coming the other way -- your right (probably the one you pick your noise with)
(3) Hey teenage d-bag on the bmx bike, take your head outta your arse, turn down the iPod, stop thinking about video games and your sister's hot friend and watch where the hell you're going. As I come towards you (on the right) and you suddenly drift right in front of me as you come the other way, yes, I am going to yell and call you an a-hole -- loudly so you can understand me.
(4) I love coming up on a cute family out for a ride, except when you're too damn stupid to realize , "hey, maybe my three kids bikes laying scattered across the path, with them running all around them, might not be too good of an idea."
(5) Lastly, I don't care if there are 3 or 4 of you that wanna walk side by side and chat. I am even willing to give you the benefit and give you 2/3 of the width but don't get pissy with me cause you actually have to move out of my lane of travel so I can get by. Chances are you'll be the one picking goos poop outta your teeth when I run your saggy butt over.
So there you have -- Canal Path 101 ... cause Humper Dog says so!

1 comment:

bluecolnago said...

bike paths must be the same all over. if i see wires coming out of your ears while you bee-bop along the bike path, i will no longer give you plenty of room. i will brush your shoulder and scare the crap out of you!